These past few months, your father and I have been having so major disagreements about things, and there’s just no getting beyond them. I very much want our family to last, but I know that it’s not going to happen.
It breaks my heart to think of you kids shuttling from household to household, never feeling like you truly have a place to call home. I’m also heartbroken over the missed opportunities for connection that we all will have.
And, what really terrifies me is knowing that, someday, we won’t all live under the same roof even some of the time. That is a reality I just can’t accept. I feel torn in pieces over the mere possibility of that happening, because it feels so wrong. You deserve to live with your mother, even if I’m declining and things are hard. I don’t think it will be less stressful for you kids if I’m shoved in a nursing home somewhere — I think it’s going to cause you more stress, not less.
I hope that you know that I loved you all through this transition, and I have been doing everything I can to be a part of your life, and be your mother for as long as I reasonably can.