My sweet Nicolas and Raisa

My two sweet youngest children, you both continue to grow and astound me.

Raisa, you are now eight months old, you have four teeth, you are eating food, and you love to crawl (sort of) and scoot across the room.   You are very social and you love going to Butler and watching all the people walking by. You are also starting to wave and clap.

I have to watch what you say around you, because if I say “nurse”, you start pecking furiously at my shirt, and I ask you if you want to go on a walk, I better be ready to go out the door right that second.  It’s so neat to see how verbal you are and how aware you are of what we are saying.

You love to stand up, looking out the windowsill , or even the edge of the bathtub.  You also love to watch your siblings play.

You are so excited by little things, like touching trees, and I can tell that you are just so intensely focused on figuring everything out.  I love you so much, and all I want is to be able to parent you always. I see how attached to me you are right now— you will army crawl across the house to get to me —  and I can only hope that I can continue to be a source of loving support and safety for you always.    I hope I don’t break your heart, and I wish I had more control over that.

Nicolas, you are so special to me. I love you so much, and the way you keep growing astounds me.   You  are just obsessed with everything map-related.   You know the capital of Netherlands, and you know which parts of a map are colder (in the mountains and far from the equator). You also know where that volcanoes form in areas where the earth’s plates are pushing together, and you know which dinosaurs live on which continents. It is so fun to be watching you absorb all of this so intently, and I’m amazed at your focus and drive to learn.

In an effort to squeeze in as much mothering of you as I can in the time that I have, I started writing you notes in your lunchbox.  They evolved from regular notes into jokes, and then palindromes, and then trivia questions, and then back to jokes again.   It has been really fun writing them for you and talking about them when you come home.

I also love reading to you and lying with you as you fall asleep. I also love going on walks with you to Butler to see the 3 fountains and go to Starbucks.  We also spend a lot of time looking for palindrome street numbers.

I feel so grateful to be your mom. You have also started drawing pictures for me, and you spontaneously wrote me a love poem, which was really beautiful.  I am so privileged that I get to continue to take care of you, and everything is so normal.    I love our relationship as it is right now — we have such easy rapport, and I hope not to disappoint you, either.

With so much love to you both!


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