Up-and-down day

Today Mariana left for her Cleveland field trip with the 4th grade.  She really wanted me to take her, and told her I’d try if both Raisa and I happened to be awake, which unfortunately didn’t happen.  I told that it made me really sad to probably not be able to take her there, but that this was a case where I had to think about protecting myself over the long term.

Today was a sad day.  I went on walks with Ann and Danielle, but I have been really sleepy, and it’s hard to stay peppy on days like that.

Also, I have been experimenting with intermittent fasting because there are rodent models where it delays the onset of dementia.   Today I only ate around 700 calories the whole day, and that was really hard.   I felt shaky and when I would stand up, I would get lightheaded.  Luckily, I get to eat a normal calorie load tomorrow.  I really hope this is just because I’m new at this, because I don’t think I could keep this up on a long-term basis.

I feel so scared and out of control.  I feel like my body has regressed so much in just a few days and I’m not sure why. I have felt so uncoordinated these past few days exercising.

I am really grateful that Miguel watched Nicolas today so I could exercise, and I’m grateful there are finally kids next door for our kids to play with.   I’m also grateful for Patrick for driving the kids to school every morning, and for taking two extra kids to Boy Scouts today, also so I could exercise.  And I’m really really grateful that he is willing to handle our many medical bills, even though he’s suffering so much.

I am so grateful to be a part of this particular family.   There is nobody else for me, and I hope you all know how much I love you!

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