To my much-loved Miguel

Last week you were away at Sea Camp with your 6th grade class, and the house was so quiet without you here.  It was so, so great to have you back and hear all of your stories about snorkeling, and looking for marine life at night, and swimming in the shark enclosure.

I could not be more proud of you and how you are growing up into such a mature, delightful, caring person.

I love how we can have conversations about grown-up topics, like the answer to life, the universe and everything (42, of course!) I love hearing your stories and sharing your humor with you.

I was so impressed with how hard you worked on selling 115 wreaths to qualify for the Boy Scout ski trip.  I know it was pretty stressful at times, but your persistence and hard work paid off!

I also really love watching how gentle and caring you are with Nicolas, reading books with him, playing blanket, and hide and seek. You are so good at bringing things down to his level, and that really pays off.

I am also so pleased by how caring you are and how free with your hugs.   I feel so delighted that you are my son, but also so devastated that I won’t get to watch you grow up and live your adult life.   As adult as our conversations seem now that you’re twelve, I know that talking to you as  30-year-old would be such a different experience, and I feel so, so sad that by that point it will be too late for me to have a meaningful conversations with you.   I so desperately wish I could hold on to our relationship just a little longer because you are worth it!

I am filled with such aching sadness that I won’t be able to be meaningfully present in your life. I wish there were something I could do to change that!

Love you so much!

Your mom




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s